poIntLesS dIscuSsiOns

… 1 more day till the end of year 2007. What have I actually done? Well a lot actually…

1. Got my ass kicked both as a waitress and a clerk…
2. Got rejected by all local Universities in this country.
3. Got into a course I didn’t really want, but was forced to anyway.
4. Enrolled myself in two awesome clubs.
5. Pissing my parents off from March till now.
6. Gotten myself a baka hentai, ecchi, perverted, tactless, shameless, useless (or so he claims), but nevertheless AWESOME boyfriend.
7. Lost the most important chapter of my life - my friends.

I’m having exams tomorrow… (since technically, it’s 30th Dec now), and yet I can absorb nothing at all. Lately my thoughts were rather disturbed.

I know I’ve done a terrible thing to them whom I’ve called friends by publishing a previous post of mine (which I’ve removed, btw), and much as I wanted to, I can’t turn back time. I know it’s a lame excuse, but I was pretty much emotionally-stressed lately, and I dunno, I sorta snapped and went berserk. I said things I never should’ve said, and *poof*. 8 years of friendship gone with the wind.

Yesterday, out of courtesy for this friend who just got back from Australia, I agreed to go out with "them" for the whole night. Things were pretty much as I expected them to be, but dreading it nonetheless. The atmosphere was tense. 2 of them weren’t talking to me, and the few that did were pretty much forcing themselves to. Well I’m not complaining, since I brought these unto myself. But… I dunno. It could’ve been just myself unable to face them or talk to them, which gives me the illusion they’re cold-shouldering me.

I think this was my first time I’ve actually talked so little, felt so awkward, and spaced out so much in any outing at all with "them". Many times I wanted to laugh, wanted to tease, wanted to facepalm, but I didn’t. I think it’s just my foolish pride stubborness.

The car-trip back was a rather silent one. Since my brilliant dad conveniently grabbed my car for servicing, I had to hitch-hike. I wanted to go home so badly, but I know I had to stick it through.

I received an envelope right before lee left. I broke down immediately after opening it. Out fell a note and two pictures. Two pictures of the seven of us (Tippy included), taken at my house, a few days after the very much belated birthdays of a few of us.

I don’t wanna lose them. I don’t wanna lose them. I don’t wanna lose them.

Last Regrets

I won’t say "Thank you,"
I’ll always keep it inside.
Goodbyes aren’t gloomy.
After a dream, I will quietly step off.

The fragments that rain into my hands,
I will always hold close
The strength to be smiling until the end;
that, I have already known.

Good morning; awakening is
blindingly bright sadness.
I cannot let you say goodbye,
our weakness was good to have been.

The gentleness that overflowed in us,
let be reflected, like flowers, like love.
The quietness of low clouds waiting for the winds…
I can no longer hear it.

The fragments that rain into my hands,
I will always hold close 
The strength to be smiling until the end;
that, I have already known.

I won’t cry anymore, I won’t cry…

This is dedicated to those who were my friends. I’m truly sorry for what I’ve done (more like what I’ve wrote), but… like you said, apologies don’t work anymore. So whatever it is, I will accept it.

Take care, and I hope to meet you all again in the next life.

Pictures I promised~

Prince Of Tennis group

Zaraki KONpachi! I wonder how much the head and arms costs.. It’s awesome, but it looks pricey… anyway, 可愛い！！！/me glomps Konpachi~ (refer my display picture =3)

Kuchiki Rukia is awesome… and this girl here looks exactly like her! O.O Love her sword~

TV guy… LOL. Peace man~

oh look, S.W.A.T.’s even present… btw, what does SWAT stands for again? =__="

erm…. for sure I know they’re cosplaying as the 暗部team from Naruto… and I think that’s a anbu-version of Kakashi on the right… <3

Katekyo Hitman Reborn group pic, if I’m not mistaken.

the guy in blue on the right is a Chinese zombie… XD and he was jumping all the way in CF, poor guy. =3

Yuna!!! Yuna!!! Yuna!!! Yuna!!! Yuna!!! From Final Fantasy X-2~ LOVE her dress!!! <3 <3 <3

Zaraki KENpachi, 11th Division Captain from Bleach, this time. =3

Kyouraki Shunsui, 8th Division Captain, from Bleach~

The Dimensional Witch and Princess Tomoyo from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles~ awesome costumes!

Halibel the Espada from Bleach, yet another with awesome costume <3

RO welcomes you to GACC ‘08!

Free Hugs… XD

Cosplayers gathered~ Cheers~

Hikaru-kun & Kaoru-kun from Ouran Koukou Kurabu… omg, teh BL-ness…

PacMan!!!

Now some other "random" pictures…


GACC 2008 welcomes YOU!!!

PS: All pictures by my boyfriend, Holy Cow, taken at Berjaya Times Square, Kuala Lumpur, 15th and 16th December 2007. =3

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. =p been busy, as usual. was trying to juggle my relationship with my boyfriend (which is steadily progressing), my relationship with my friends (thank GOD they’re not giving me the cold shoulder anymore..), my relationship with my parents (not bad… O.o), my studies (…….), my job in both GACC and SPB (……..), and my health (GAWDDAMMIT, I’m still 52kg. T.T)

let’s start with… my 恋人’s birthday, which was on 14th December.

The previous night, got yelled at by my parents, with my friends downstairs cutting birthday cake in the living room. Reason for getting yelled at? Me want go KL 3 days in a row (more like seremban 1 day, KL 2 days, but who cares? I just wanna get out of Melaka), but they flatly rejected. "NO. だめ。 Out Of Question. Don’t even think about it."

I know it’s kinda pointless to argue when they’re using that tone, but… I really NEED to go Seremban and KL. I REALLY need to. Seremban = celebrate Leo-chan’s birthday. KL = Comic Fiesta 2007. It’s a matter of life and death. honestly.

But instead of moping around, feeling all depressed… I wiped away my tears, slapped myself a bit, and went downstairs to laugh and joke about as if nothing has happened. When my friends asked what took me so long, I merely shrugged and said "Stuff to do…" while inwardly dreading what Leo-chan’d say when I break the news to him.

Being the disobedient, incredibly-stubborn-without-an-ounce-of-logic-in-her-head girl I am, naturally, I went to Seremban the next day. /gg It was my 1st time taking the highway, and I must say, it was pretty exhilarating. Thankfully both of us (you know who) got to Seremban in one piece, and proceeded to grab some dimsum for brunch, then walk aimlessly around Jusco, had a go on the newest version of the Taiko machine which includes ‘Motteke Sailor Fuku’ and ‘Hare Hare Yukai’, and later… brief tour around Seremban. Yeah. Nothing fishy at ALL. Nope. Nothing. NIL.

Afterwards, had an insanely, insanely expensive, but outrageously awesome candlelit dinner in Windmill, where I had snails for the 1st time in my entire life. It wasn’t bad, honestly. Tasted like shrimps… but I wouldn’t want to have them too many times… /me shudders.

The next morning, I got grounded. As expected. /hee Couldn’t go to CF. It was a painful sight letting Leo-chan go and watch him get on the train without me… T.T

Later that night, I made up my mind. I decided to trade my laptop, to be able to go to CF on the 2nd day, which is on a Sunday. Come to think of it, it’s kinda like a desperate move for my case, but honestly, I NEED to go. I’d die if I miss CF for the 2nd day. And yeah, my Mum agreed. Grudgingly, unwillingly, but she still agreed. XD

So… me went CF. With a whole bunch of MMU people. and of course, with Leo-chan. And I don’t regret it in the LEAST. I had the time of my life there, ogling at the cosplayers, shaking hands with a few of the ones I know through CF forums, witnessed an awesome performance of the ‘Hare Hare Yukai’ dance, was forced to wear 猫耳 the whole day (T.T), and had fun annoying Afiq and Soot in particular while abusing the entrance ticket. =p

Now… after CF and everything… I’m not in the mood for anything. T.T Been feeling sleepy ever since Sunday… Need to find some way to spice up my life… Bleh… Heck, even my post is boring. ZzZzZz..

ps: will upload pictures on CF ‘07 once I got them back in my PC. >=3

SIGH.

barely a month after the rather stressful and hectic finals (well actually it’s longer than a month, but who cares?), the midterms are back. Proofs:

1. MMU’s library overflowing with ‘kiasu’ people.
2. SPR is dreadfully empty during daytime.
3. People start blogging more than usual.
4. More accidents occuring due to the fact that people are walking, cycling, driving around with their noses sticking to their notes.
5. Almost impossible to find empty classes or rooms with air-cond.

Blargh. It’s at times like this I really envy my friends studying in local Universities. They’re all having their long, long, long, long, LONG semester break, and are currently sleeping their asses off each and every single day. T.T

On a brighter note, however, I’m on talking terms with my friends again, YAY! (though I have a lingering feeling they’ve not really forgiven me… yet.)

Me… I’ll whine more about my miserable life next time, but of course, my 恋人 made it way, way, WAY brighter. >=3 Right now, my brother is calling for DotA. Gotta go.